Domestic Abuse

Procedure Flowcharts

Domestic Violence and Abuse

What is Domestic Violence? The Government defines domestic violence as: "Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality".

The government also makes explicit that such issues as forced marriage, female genital mutilation and so-called ‘honour based violence’ are also included within this definition.

The main characteristic of domestic violence is that the behaviour is intentional and is calculated to exercise power and control within a relationship.

Domestic Violence includes but is not limited to:

physical violence, e.g. slapping, pushing, kicking, stabbing, damage to property or items of sentimental value, attempted murder or murder
sexual violence, e.g. any non-consensual sexual activity, including rape, sexual assault, coercive sexual activity, or refusing safe sex
restricting freedom, e.g. controlling who you see, or where you go, what you wear and what you do, stalking, imprisonment, forced marriage
emotional/psychological abuse, e.g. intimidation, social isolation, verbal abuse, humiliation, constant criticism, enforced trivial routines
economic/financial abuse, e.g. stealing, depriving or taking control of money, running up debts, withholding benefits books or bank cards.

Who experiences Domestic Violence?

The majority of domestic violence involves heterosexual males abusing their female partners or ex-partners, with women experiencing a greater amount of and more severe abuse from male perpetrators . However, domestic violence is not limited to any particular type of person or relationship, and can occur in lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender relationships, in heterosexual relationships when men are abused by women and in caring and other family relationships, for example when grown up children use violence against their parents.

In this guidance, we aim to be gender neutral. However, in places where we refer to the mother/female as a victim and a father/male as a perpetrator, the situations described can in most cases be generalised to a victim or perpetrator of any gender.

Domestic violence is a systematic pattern of abuse that is perpetrated within a current or non-current partner or family relationship. It is rarely a one off event. It includes a range of abusive behaviours that tend to escalate over time, and can occur in new relationships or after many years. People experience domestic violence regardless of their social group, class, age, race, disability, sexual orientation and lifestyle.

Impact on Children

Domestic violence is a serious and widespread social problem with consequences for the wellbeing of children and young people. The issue of children living with domestic violence is now recognised as a matter for concern in its own right by both government and key children’s services agencies.

The link between child physical abuse and domestic violence is high, with up to 60% of children living with domestic violence also being abused themselves. In 2002, nearly three quarters of children subject of a child protection plan lived in households where domestic violence occurs. All professionals should, therefore, seek to intervene to safeguard and promote the welfare of children and young people in such situations.

The three central imperatives of any intervention for children living with domestic violence are:

To protect any children
To support the victim to protect her/himself and any children she/he may have
To hold the abusive partner accountable for his/her violence and provide him/her with opportunities to change.

Children living with domestic violence

30% of domestic violence begins or escalates during pregnancy. Domestic violence has been identified as a prime cause of miscarriage, still-birth, premature birth, foetal psychological damage from the effect of abuse on the mother’s hormone levels, foetal physical injury and foetal death. The mother may be prevented by the perpetrator from receiving proper ante-natal or post-natal care. In addition, if the mother is being abused this may affect her attachment to her child, particularly if the pregnancy is a result of rape by her abuser.

The risks to children living with domestic violence include:

Direct physical or sexual abuse of the child research shows this happens in up to 60% of cases; also the severity of the violence against the abused parent is predictive of the severity of abuse to the children
The child being abused as part of the abuse against the abused parent:
- Being used by the abuser in attempts to control the abused parent
- Being forced by the abuser to participate in the abuse
Emotional abuse and physical injury to the child from witnessing the abuse:
- Hearing abusive verbal exchanges between adults in the household
- Hearing the abuser verbally abuse, humiliate and threaten violence
- Observing bruises and injuries sustained by the abused parent
- Hearing the abused parent’s screams and pleas for help
- Witnessing the abused parent being taken to hospital by ambulance
- Attempting to intervene in a violent assault
- Being physically injured as a result of intervening or being accidentally hurt during a violent assault
- Observing the abuser being removed and taken into police custody.
Being unable or unwilling to invite friends to the house
Frequent disruptions to social life and schooling from moving with the abused parent to escape violence
Hospitalisation of the abused parent and/or their permanent disability

Children who witness domestic violence suffer emotional and psychological maltreatment and can display the following:

low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, self blame, anger and fear
aggressive and violent behaviours, including bullying
lack of conflict resolution skills
lack of empathy for others and poor peer relationships
poor school performance, and truancy
anti-social behaviour, alcohol misuse and drug use
symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder
over-protectiveness of the abused parent and/or siblings.

The impact of the violence varies from child to child according to their resilience, and the strengths and weaknesses of their circumstances. Their own views and interpretations of abuse can lead to very individual reactions. It is important to avoid assumptions of permanent psychological damage or to make assumptions about the ‘cycle of violence’ (that children who live with violence will grow up to be violent themselves).

The impact of domestic violence on children is similar to the effects of any other abuse or trauma and will depend upon such factors as:

The severity and nature of the violence
The length of time the child is exposed to the violence
Characteristics of the child’s gender, ethnic origin, age, disability, socio-economic and cultural background
The warmth and support the child receives in their relationships with their mother, siblings and other family members
The nature and length of the child’s wider relationships and social networks
The child’s capacity for and actual level of self protection.

A 2009 study which examined 189 serious case reviews found that more than half of the children lived in homes with current or past domestic violence. Most of these cases involved physical violence towards or between partners. In some cases there was no evidence of physical violence, but abusive control was still being exercised by the husband over his wife.

The presence of domestic violence does not necessarily predict serious harm to a child. However, it does increase the risks of harm, as well as presenting a hazardous and frightening home life for the child and an unsafe care giving environment.

The study also found that domestic violence is closely associated with all types of abuse and neglect of children and known to be a feature in the majority of the cases where a child’s father murdered his/her mother and sometimes the child as well.

Similarly, in many of the cases examined, fleeing domestic violence was given as a reason for children being constantly on the move, with resulting disruptions to education, stability of home life and their ability to make and maintain supportive friendships and relationships.

The impact of domestic violence on victims and their ability to parent

In cases of domestic violence, the victim is often the only source of good parenting for the children. This is because domestic violence typically co-exists with high levels of punishment, the misuse of power and a failure of appropriate self-control by the abusive parent/partner.

Many victims seek help because they are concerned about the risk domestic violence poses to their children. However, domestic violence may also diminish a victim’s capacity to protect her children and she can become so preoccupied with her own survival that she is unaware of or unable to consider the impact on the children.

Victims subjected to domestic violence can experience the following:

frequent moves of accommodation
financial problems
isolation from social networks
being physically prevented from fulfilling their parenting role by the abuser
loss of self-confidence as an individual and parent
feeling emotionally and physically drained, and distant from the children
not knowing what to say to the children
inability to provide appropriate structure, security or emotional and behavioural boundaries for the children
difficulty in managing frustrations and not taking them out on the children
inability to support the children to achieve educationally or otherwise
depression and other mental health difficulties leading to self-harm, attempted suicide, drug use and alcohol misuse.

The abuser’s ability to parent

Professionals are often very optimistic about abusive men’s parenting skills, whilst scrutinising the mother’s parenting in much greater detail. However, research has found that abusers have inferior parenting skills, which include being:

More irritable
Less physically affectionate
Less involved in child rearing
Using more negative control techniques, such as physical punishment.

Drugs, alcohol and mental ill health

Victims of domestic violence are more likely to use drugs and misuse alcohol and prescription drugs as a form of self-medication and relief from the impact of domestic violence.

Victims can be coerced and manipulated into alcohol and drug use by abusers who often introduce them to alcohol or drug use to increase their dependence on the perpetrator and to control their behaviour. Victims are frequently not allowed to access treatment by the perpetrator.

Mental health issues such as depression, trauma symptoms, suicide attempts and self-harm are frequently symptoms of the abuse and need to be addressed alongside the domestic violence and any drug and alcohol problems. However, it should be noted that being a victim of domestic violence with drug, alcohol or mental health problems compounds the difficulties victims have in accessing help.

Abusers often use their own or their partners’ alcohol or drug use as an excuse for their violence. However, there is no evidence to support a “loss of control caused by intoxication” as an explanation for violence. Research and case examples show that abusive partners exert a huge amount of power and control regardless of intoxication. It should never be assumed that by working with an abusive partner’s drug use or alcohol misuse that the violent behaviour will stop or be reduced.

Factors which increase vulnerability/risk

If a child has special needs
If the mother is a vulnerable adult (refer to Protection of Vulnerable Adults guidelines http://www.newcastle.gov.uk/core.nsf/a/adultsprotect#vulnerable )
If the children or mother are from a black or minority ethnic community
Violence directed towards a mother may draw attention away from the fact that a child in the family may be being sexually or physically abused or targeted in some other way

Disclosure and/or recognition of domestic violence

Professionals may become aware of a victim experiencing domestic violence through:

Disclosure prompted by the professional’s routine questioning
Observation of signs that domestic violence could be taking place
Unprompted disclosure from a child, victim or abuser
Information provided by neighbours, friends, family or community members
Disclosure could also come in the form of information shared by another agency or group

Barriers to disclosure

There are many reasons why a victim will be unwilling or unable to disclose the domestic violence some of which are as follows:

Not being believed
Fear that the disclosure will be worse than the current situation
Unable to express concerns clearly. Language can be a significant barrier to disclosure for many victims, both for those who speak English and for those who do not have English as a first language
Fear that children will be taken into care
Fear the abusive partner will find them again through lack of confidentiality
Fear of being more seriously harmed or even murdered
Believe the abuser’s promise that it will not happen again (many victims do not necessarily want to leave the relationship, they just want the violence to stop)
Shame and embarrassment and may believe it is her/his fault
Fear that there will not be follow-up support, either because services are not available or because of institutional discrimination/racism
Fear of being isolated by their community
Fear of being deported
Concern for the future (accommodation, money, having to hide forever and what will happen to the children)
Isolation from friends and family or being prevented from leaving home or reaching out for help
A previous poor experience after disclosure
Some victims are simply not ready. It is therefore important to keep asking the question.

The barriers to a victim leaving an abusive partner are the same as those which prevent victims from disclosing the domestic violence in the first place – fear that the separation will be worse than the current situation or even fatal.

Best Practice Guidance in responding to a disclosure of domestic violence

Research shows that victims and survivors of domestic violence want to be asked by professionals about the violence or abuse they are suffering.

From the Victim

Believe the victim
Provide non-judgmental support, whether the victim returns to the abuser or not
Remind the victim that they are not to blame
Recognise and acknowledge the violence and express concern for the safety of the victim and any children involved
Assess safety and discuss ways to increase their safety
Establish safety of the children
Help the woman develop a safety plan
Provide information on domestic violence and other services that are available to support the victim, but give the victim the freedom to make her/his own choices about seeking support or not
If child abuse is disclosed, professionals have an duty to notify Children’s Social Care
Before they leave, do reassure them that they have taken a positive step in talking about what they are experiencing, and that they can contact you again

From a Child

If a child discloses to you that they have witnessed domestic violence against their parent/carer, the following actions are recommended but it is important to take into account the age of the child, their developmental level and any anxiety they might have about the disclosure:

Find a quiet safe place where you will not be interrupted
Give the child time and space to talk. Listen carefully and do not rush or put pressure on the child by asking too many questions
Emphasise that the violence is not their fault
Let them know they are not the only child experiencing such things
Allow them to express their feelings and version of events
Be non judgemental
Attempt to find out what the child does when the violence is occurring in order to assess safety needs
Check if the child has a safety plan (a safety plan would include what to do when the violence starts, where to go, how to protect themselves so they don’t get hurt) and if not, work on this with the child
Inform the child of everything you are going to do and the reasons why. For example if you are going to inform Children’s Social Care, the child needs to know the reasons why
Give the child information about sources of help and support that are available for them

Professionals should keep in mind that:

The issue of domestic violence should only ever be raised with a child or an adult victim when they are safely on their own and in a private place

Separation does not ensure safety; it often increases the risk of serious harm or even murder for the victim and/or any children, especially in connection with post-separation child contact arrangements

Domestic Violence Support Services
Newcastle Women’s Aid Female victims and their children	0800 923 2622 (Freephone) 0191 265 2148
Victim Support Male and female victims and their children	0191 286 5183
Panah Black and minority female victims and their children	0191 284 6998 (24 hours)
Safe Project Female victims and their children living in the New Deal Area/West End of Newcastle	0191 226 1155
Police DV Liaison Officers Adult victims of domestic violence.	08456 043 043 Ext 62781,ext 62790,ext 62431

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